Month: November 2017

  • Good News, Bad News, and Trouble in Writing Town

    Good News, Bad News, and Trouble in Writing Town

    I’ve got a thirty-minute break before my next parent-teacher conference, so I thought I’d use this time to do some writing. I know I won’t be able to get any meaningful creative writing done, sandwiched as this moment is between long and stressful blocks of trying to calm down nervous parents and stressed-out students. My stress levels are elevated today, too. Not a great place to be, mentally, when you want the ideas to flow. The doors of my imagination just can’t swing freely on their hinges at the moment. 

    Since I’m currently stress-blocked and don’t feel up to generating anything creative right now, I figured I’d use this time to sneak in a blog post and try to unpack a problem that has been dogging me of late.

    Creative Constipation

    Writer's BlockOver the past week, forward progress on my WIP has slowed to a snail’s pace. I need to figure out what’s going on. What has changed? What can I do to unblock myself?  

    You know how everyone always says stuff like, “You can’t edit a blank page,” or “The first draft is supposed to be terrible?” Of course, you do, if you’re a writer. It’s inescapable, especially during the month of NaNoWriMo. I firmly buy into those clichéd tidbits of advice. If I had more time (hahaha) I’d needlepoint it onto a cushion and then sit on that cushion as I wrote.

    However, something happened on the 15th that seems to have changed things and not for the better. We (being the folks in Lesley University’s MFA in Creative Writing Program) received our mentor pairings for next semester. Fourth semester students (like me) work on one thing and one thing only: our creative theses. Or, in layman’s terms, we’ll be trying to shine up a reasonable draft of a book. Up until last week, I was feeling pretty good about that. Looking forward to it, in fact.

    Good News, Bad News

    Then, we got our pairings. Good news: I got my first choice for a mentor. The esteemed Chris Lynch, author of Inexcusable, Little Blue Lies, and Angry Young Man, and others. I also got my first pick for my Thesis Reader: Jason Reynolds, author of Patina, When I Was the Greatest, and All American Boys among other books. To invoke Chandler Bing, “Could I be more excited?” Maybe, but it would be difficult.

    Chandler Bing Gif

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Anyway, I got that news and fist-pumped the sky, did a dance of joy, and then froze. Oh, sugar-honey-iced-tea. Chris Lynch and Jason Reynolds are going to see my story.  Turns out the good news is also the bad news.

    Grocery Bag FailureHere’s what that sudden, stark realization felt like. Imagine you’re at the grocery store, heading back to your car carrying two extremely heavy and overpacked bags of foodstuffs, and you’re feeling stoked because you hit some sweet sales and managed to stock up for the week and then some. You’re crossing a busy throughway in the parking lot when the bags let go. All at once, the bottoms rip wide open and vomit your stuff all over the pavement. Cans are rolling everywhere. The milk carton is ruptured.  A white puddle expands at your feet. Dented boxes, broken eggs, bruised apples racing away, and cars coming at you from both directions.  What you thought of just moments ago as an awesome bundle of tasty treats now looks like an embarrassing heap of trash. 

    My “book” now feels like those groceries lying broken and hopeless and ugly on the pavement, and Mr. Lynch and Mr. Reynolds are the drivers who have to stop and get out of their slick cars to help me to scrape all my crap up off the ground.  They know how to bag groceries.  This would never happen to them.  I’m a schmuck, and now they have to deal with my foolishness.

    Perception versus Reality

    I’m not saying that’s my actual situation. Maybe my “book” isn’t as big a mess as all that, but that’s how it feels right now.

    I’ve got this thing, this rough draft, and it’s terrible in all the ways that I usually tell myself a first draft is allowed to be. But…

    Two authors whom I respect (and, okay yes, idolize) are about to put eyes on it. All of a sudden it no longer feels okay for my rough draft to be messy. I want to turn my work-to-date over to Chris, have him read it, and then get an email from him expounding upon how wonderful it is and how excited he is to help me cut and polish this diamond of a story.

    I want that, but I don’t have a rough diamond to give him. I’ve got a pile of ruined groceries hastily scraped up off the blacktop, possibly destined for the garbage. And he’s going to judge me!

    He’s not going to judge me.

    The man is amazing. So is Jason, who will read my “finished” product at the end of this semester and either give it the thumbs up (I pass) or thumbs down (I still pass, but let it be known that I am a talentless hack). Every student who has worked with these two men has sung their praises.

    The point is, I no longer feel okay with my rough draft being terrible. In my desire to impress two incredible authors, I’d want it to be perfect, spotless, shiny. Glittering to the point of blinding in its utter fabulousness. Is that too much to ask?

    We’re Our Own Worst Critics

    Tom Hanks WriterYes, as it turns out. Perfection is too much to ask, and my self-imposed, unattainable new expectations have bogged down my writing process. My muse has curled up in the fetal position at my feet beneath my desk. She’s utterly useless under pressure, I guess. Meanwhile, I am getting hung up on every single sentence I try to write. Is this description strong enough? Are these verbs punchy enough? Am I rambling? Should I cut this? Do I need to elaborate here?  Why’s there so much dialogue in this scene?  What the H am I doing?

    That’s me, snail-crawling along, doubting EVERYTHING about my writing and my characters and my story.  Whereas I normally can pump out a solid 1,500 to 2,000 words a day, I’m now down to less than 500. 

    Which I guess would be okay if it weren’t for the fact that I’m supposed to turn in 13,000 words of new material on December 1st in preparation for my January residency. I’ve only got 6,200 words so far, and that has taken me almost two weeks to generate. And it’s all rough draft quality work.

    Sigh.

    This really should be an IWSG post, because I am feeling more insecure about my writing than I have probably ever felt before in my entire life. It’s cool. It’ll pass. I’ve doubted myself before this, and I always get over it…

    Eventually.

    Until then, I’ll continue to plug along and hope that, with the help of an incredibly talented (and patient–dear Freya, please let them be patient) mentor and reader, some of my groceries will turn out to be salvageable.  Because what else can to do?  It’s part of being an aspiring writer, right?  I either quit now, or I push through the doubt and continue to dribble the words onto the paper.  

    Okey-dokey.  Break time’s over.  Back to the day job.

    Has anyone else had nearly paralyzing moments of doubt brought on by the prospect of having a legitimately talented author/agent/editor reading your stuff?  Please, tell me I’m not the only one.

  • Rapid Fire Book Tag

    Rapid Fire Book Tag

    I saw this book tag on K.L.M. Moore’s site and thought it was pretty cool, so here goes:

     

    1. Ebook or physical books?

    Physical book.  I do own a Kindle paper white, and I have quite a few ebooks loaded onto it, but my brain does a much better job processing, synthesizing, and remembering information when I read from a physical book than a digital screen.

    2. Paperback or hardback?

    Day-to-day reading would be paperback.  However, if I love a book, like really love a book, I’ll seek out and purchase a hardcover edition.  For example, I own not one but three copies of the Hobbit and LOTR, and one of my sets is a gorgeous illustrated hardcover edition.  Same with Cressida Cowell’s How to Train Your Dragon series.  My children and I have all read that series multiple times over. 

    3. Online or in-store book shopping?

    There is something magical about a bookstore for me.  I get a little giddy when I enter one, so I prefer in-store shopping.  More specifically, I try to get my books through a small, local, independent bookseller.  

    4. Trilogies or series?

    Hmmm… this is a tough one.  I do love a good series, but not because it’s a series.  The characters must be awesome and the world has to be awesome.  I think I might actually prefer stand alone books the most.   

    5. Heroes or villains? Magneto

    Villains, all the way.  No question.  Antiheroes, too.  Not that a hero can’t be great. (I love you, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III).

    6. A book you want everyone to read?

    A Darker Shade of Magic by Victoria Schwab.  Just go read it.  You’ll understand why.

    A Darker Shade of Magic7. Recommend an underrated book?

    Wonderbook by Jeff VanderMeer.  One of the most amazing craft books I’ve encountered.  Even if your preferred genres aren’t fantasy or science fiction, this book is worth a look-see.Wonderbook

    8. The last book you finished?

    The Last Star by Rick YanceyThe Last Star by Rick Yancey.  This is a bit of a fib.  I’m aiming to finish it up tonight.  I’ve got about 30 pages left to go.

    9. The last book you bought?

     The Scar (Bas-Lag)How to Train Your Dragon - Book 11

    In print: The Scar (Bas-Lag) by China Miéville.  Audiobook: How to Train Your Dragon, Book 11 (David Tennant narrates these books.  Enough said.)

    10. Weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

    A parking ticket.

    11. Used books: yes or no?

    Gods, yes!  I live for the Salem book swap!!

    12. Three favourite genres?

    Young Adult (though I struggle with calling it a full-on genre), Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror.

    13. Borrow or buy?

    Both!  My house isn’t large enough to hold all the books I’d love to own.  I’m a true-blue bibliophile.  My dream home contains a library that would rival Alexandria’s.  But, given space constraints, I’m a regular patron of my local library.

    14. Characters or plot?

    Honestly, both.  I’ll admit that I enjoyed Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code despite the paper-thin characters.  I also liked Matthew Pearl’s The Dante Club.  That said, if I had to pick one over the other, it would be characters.  I fell in love with Stephen King’s work for his characters, not his plots.  I’ll stick with fascinating characters through a mediocre plot.  To stay with mediocre characters, the plot has to be highly entertaining, and that doesn’t happen all that often for me.

    15. Long or short books?

    Short.  I’m a very slow reader.

    16. Long or short chapters?

    I honestly don’t think I have a preference, as long as the chapter lengths are working for the story I’m reading.

    17. Name the first 3 books you think of.

    This question should have come earlier in this list.  I’ve biased my response by listing all those others above.  

    18. Books that made you laugh or cry?

    The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Bridge to Terabithia

    Bridge to Terabithia  was the first book that made me sob.  I cry every time Gandalf falls to the Balrog.  I laugh my way through The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy every time I read it.  

    19. Our world or fictional worlds?

    I’m not yet convinced there’s a difference.  Currently, however, fictional worlds.

    20. Audiobooks; yes or no?

    Is this even a question?  Yes!

    21. Do you ever judge a book by it’s cover?

    All the time.  Sorry.

    22. Book to movie or TV adaptations?

    With a few notable exceptions, please, no.

    23. Movie/TV show you preferred to its book? 

    *snorts derisively* Yeah, right.

    24. Series or stand-alones?

    Stand-alones, though that doesn’t mean I don’t read series, too.

     

    Well, now you know a bit more about me.  Your turn!

  • My MFA in Creative Writing Program Explained

    Lesley UniversityIf you hadn’t heard, I’m getting my MFA in creative writing at Lesley University.

    This week, my third semester wraps itself up as I claw my way toward the finish line and a degree.  Technically, I should have finished up last week, on Friday to be exact.  Life doesn’t always work out the way we envision it, though.  Since I started this blog as a way to document the madness (check out my About page for more on that), I thought I’d write a post that gives my take on the program.

    Lesley University’s Low Residency MFA in Creative Writing Program Explained:

    Each semester kicks off with an intense–and I do mean intense–nine-day on-campus residency in Cambridge, Massachusetts.  The summer residency happens in June.  The winter residency happens in January.

    I live just up the way in Salem, so I commute on the train.  During the residency, which kicks off at 9am each morning and doesn’t wrap up until 8pm each night, I attend interactive workshops taught by creative writing faculty from one of five concentrations (Fiction, Nonfiction, Poetry, Writing for Young People <– that’s my concentration, and Graphic Novels).  I also attend seminar lectures from visiting guests such

    Author Jason Reynolds
    Mr. Reynolds, an incredible writer and mentor in our program

    as Jo Knowles M. T. Anderson, and Jason Reynolds (who also teaches in the program) just to name three whom I particularly enjoyed. 

    Not to mention all the wonderful social time that happens each evening after the day’s classes and lectures wrap up.  I’ve met so many talented, funny, wonderful, and supportive people at the two residencies I’ve attended thus far.  If I’m lucky, I’ll stay in touch with some of these fine folks for the rest of my life.  

    Prior to each residency, I write and submit two creative pieces, each about 6,500 words long.  A designated faculty member and other students workshop both of them.  I have to say, there are so many things that I have loved about this program, but the critique workshops are my favorite.  Not only do I get to read about six pieces of creative writing by others and practice my skills as I give feedback on them, but I get to receive nuanced and thoughtful feedback from six people who are as passionate about writing as I am.

    As the on-campus residency wraps up, I work with my mentor to build a study-plan for the rest of my semester that will play out long-distance via email and texting and Facebook messaging, etc.  It’s a personalized study plan based on what I think are my strengths and weaknesses as a writer, what my mentor sees as my strengths and weaknesses, and what my writing goals are in general (to become a famous, globetrotting novelist!  Ha ha.  *sigh* Just let me dream, okay?)

    Break-down of Semesters 1 & 2: In a Word, Busy.

    First Semester at A Glance

    I take three classes, though it feels in practice like I’m only taking two.  I’ll just treat it like I’m dealing with two classes.  For my “main” class, I work with my mentor.  Over the course of the semester, I read craft books and novels and write reflective or analytical essays about them.  At the same time, I work on my own creative stuff.  I submit my essays and my creative writing four times (once a month), and each time I get an in-depth analysis back from my mentor on what I did well and what I need to work on.  As if that’s not enough to keep me busy, there’s that pesky second class I mentioned.

    The second class is an interdisciplinary studies class, which means that since I’m in the

    Artist's Way Final Project
    This is my final project for my first Interdisciplinary Class: The Artist’s Way. It’s supposed to be a collage representing my journey as a writer.

    Writing For Young People concentration, I have to take something that ISN’T related to writing for young people.  For my first semester, I took a class modeled after Julie Cameron’s Artist’s Way. I took a science fiction and fantasy class in my second semester that focused on the short story.  This semester, I took a follow-up to the science fiction and fantasy class that focused on the novel.

    For this second class, the I.S. class, I also have to read books, write reflective or analytical papers about them, and write my own creative stuff.  All that stuff gets submitted four times per semester, too.

    Sound like a lot?  Yeah, it is.

    It’s great, but it’s a lot.  Cue the stress.

    Ah, but that was just the first two semesters.

    Semester 3: Odin, It Was Rough.

    As I said, I’m wrapping up my third semester in this program.  A week late, it’s true, but at least I’m finishing.  Not everyone does.  Third semester is notorious in this program for being insane.

    People ReadingIn addition to managing all the work for my SFF novel-writing class (which has been off-the-hook outstanding, by the way), this is the semester when I had to write my big “craft essay.”  Now, I want to pause here for a moment and say that the folks at Lesley really ought to call this our “Craft Thesis” since we aren’t allowed to graduate if we don’t write it.

    This beast to which I am referring takes the place of reading a couple of books and write a 2-4 page reflective paper about them four times during the semester.  Instead, we have to pick a craft topic of our own choosing, research the holy heck out of it, and write a 12-18 page paper on the topic.

    What did I choose to research?  Glad you asked.  In an attempt to marry my two great loves

    in life–biology and creative writing–I elected to write a research paper exploring the neuroscience behind writing that “hooks” readers.

    Neuroscience Articles
    Look at all those scientific articles about neuroscience and reading!

     

    Sounds pretty rad, am I right?  

    It was, but don’t forget that while I was doing all that research [shudders at the thought of all that research], I was also writing and submitting about 24,000 words of my own creative writing spread out over four submission cycles.

    Semester 4: The Future Looks Bright

    I submitted my craft essay (they really should call that sucker a “Craft Thesis” to give it the psychological weight it deserves) last Monday and cheered.  I’ll be submitting my last batch of creative stuff on Wednesday, and I am looking toward the horizon with a sense of optimism steeped, perhaps, in a bit of denial.  It would be nice to get at least a couple of weeks of down time to catch my breath, but we just got the email with instructions on how to format or workshop pieces, which are due December 1st.

    Yikes!

    Fourth semester is the one in which I devote 100% of my attention on my “Creative Thesis.”  This is the culminating creative project, the thing that showcases my supposed mastery of writing fiction (for young people, mind you).  No pressure.  No problem.

    Did I mention that my right eye has been twitching for the past week?  No kidding.  It really has.

    Three Excellent Books
    Books I’m reading to inform my creative thesis this semester.

    Fourth semester will be great.  I’ll have no I.S. class competing for my time and attention.  I’ll have no analytical craft essays to write, big or small.  It’ll just be me and my book and my mentor trying to help me make it not suck so bad.  I’ll need to put together 100 to 150 polished pages of a YA novel that I and the program administrators won’t be embarrassed by.  I think this is doable?

    Technically, I already have 150 pages of my Creative Thesis written.  As of last night, Scrivener informed me that I’ve got 159 pages, to be exact.  The problem is… oh, there are so many problems.  The biggest problem is that, from a structural standpoint, Under the Purple Sky is a hot mess.  I attempted to tell a YA sci-fi survival story in the first person POV via two different timelines that weave together as readers experience the main character’s psychological ruin during a global disaster that wipes out 99% of the human species, and her tentative road to recovery three years later.  Ugh.

    I’ve got my work cut out for me.  But, I remain hopeful.  It will be nice to be able to focus on just one single project for a full semester, and if I play my cards right, I’ll walk away from all of this in July with a degree.  I might even have a decent draft of a book, too.  That, however, remains to be scene… er, seen.  Ha, ha.

    So, that’s what I’ve been up to this past year-and-a-half.

    If you are curious about Lesley’s Creative Writing program, specifically their low residency program, feel free to ask in the comments.  I’m a subject sample of n=1, but I’m happy to share my experiences thus far.

  • IWSG – On Finish NaNoWriMo Projects

    IWSG – On Finish NaNoWriMo Projects

    The Insecure Writer's Support GroupIt’s IWSG Day again! The question this month is…

    Win or not, do you usually finish your NaNo project? Have any of them gone on to be published?

    This is a doozy of a question, but allow me to drop a plug for IWSG before I dive in. The Insecure Writer’s Support Group, founded by the esteemed Alex J. Cavanaugh, is an online space where writers (insecure and otherwise) can come together to share stories, successes, struggles, and all the rest of it. The website is chock-o-block full of great stuff. There’s a Twitter Pitch, which I haven’t checked out yet, contests, books, swag, conferences, and more. Be sure to jump over there and check them out! The awesome co-hosts for the November 1 posting of the IWSG are Tonja Drecker, Diane Burton, MJ Fifield, and Rebecca Douglass! Do follow the links and jump over to their sites to say hello.

    Okay, back to the question. NaNoWriMo. Do I usually finish my projects, and have I gotten any of them published? I’ve written about my views regarding the merits of NaNoWriMo before this. If you don’t know what NaNoWriMo is, check out this earlier post I wrote that explains all (well, nearly all).

    Here’s the thing. I’m a fiercely competitive person. It’s ugly, or rather I turn ugly when I engage in activities with a competitive component. There are dark times in my childhood related to Red Rover, pick-up games of football at recess, gym sports.

    Despite what some might argue, NaNoWriMo does have a competitive edge embedded into it, and if I’m not careful I could slice myself wide open on it. Not to mention my friends, my family, my graduate studies, my job.

    Do participants actually compete with other folks during the event? No. However, there are achievement badges we can earn, forums where people can “support” each other. I have “Writing Buddies” whose progress I check on. There’s definitely an inherent feeling that I need to keep up with the authorial Jones going on when I participate.

    I Always Win, but…

    I cheat. Oh, Thor! Do I ever cheat! The first year I did it, I won fair and square. But that was the only

    Cheating cyclist
    That guy running up the steps during the bike race? Yeah, that’s me.

    time I penned all 50k in November. And, that project was far from “finished.” That draft didn’t wrap itself up until March! It’s not getting published, by the way. It’s a steaming pile. Which is fine. I learned a LOT writing that draft.  Of course, cinderella stories exist about breakout authors whose best-selling debut novels were drafted during NaNoWriMo.  I remain highly skeptical. To discuss further would merit a whole other post.

    This year is the first year since my original foray into the world of NaNoWriMo that I haven’t begun working on my WIP early. No, wait. Scratch that. I totally gave myself a 12,000-word head start. Why? Because I have a problem, that’s why.

    If I don’t take some of the pressure off by getting a block of writing done in advance, thereby lowering the daily word count goal from a genuinely challenging 1,667 to something closer to 1,000, ugly me might emerge once more. Plus, it makes the volume of words I need to write in November actually fit into my life without harming my spouse or my children. Yes! My children! I do it for my children! Justification accomplished.

    It’s Not Really About Winning or Losing

    Chimpanzee at a TypewriterThe spirit of NaNoWriMo is about getting writers to put words on the page. If that’s the ultimate goal, who cares if I get a head start, especially if the story is calling to me?

    It’ does, too. The closer November first gets, the more I find myself thinking about the story and itching to get at it.

    For me, that itch is one of the biggest pros to taking part in NaNoWriMo. I just need to mitigate the underlying competitive aspects of the event, dull the sword’s edge if you will. 30,000 words in a single month is still a challenging goal for me. It’s just… less challenging, and therefore less likely to bring out the I-must-win-at-all-costs-and-if-you-get-in-my-way-so-help-me-I-will-end-you side of my personality.

    At the end of the month, I log my wins. That first year, when I won fair and square, I celebrated by purchasing Scrivener, a new fountain pen, and a new notebook. Every year after that, I’ve rewarded myself with a new fountain pen and a new notebook, but I don’t feel right about taking advantage of the coupons and discounts and whatnot if I don’t load all 50,000 words into 30 days.

    When my kids get a little older and I’m not in the midst of a graduate program, then maybe I’ll put the edge back on NaNo. For now, though, I’ll stick with my Bokken sword.  Speaking of which… I do believe it’s time to do battle!

    I can’t be the only person who does this. Fudge the start date, I mean. How about you? Do you usually finish your NaNoWriMo projects?