Tag: productivity

  • Refilling the Creative Well – A Must for All Artists

    Refilling the Creative Well – A Must for All Artists

    If you hadn’t yet realized, I’m a big fan of Julie Cameron’s book (and 12-week, self-guided course) The Artist’s Way. I took it as an interdisciplinary course my first semester in Lesley University’s MFA in Creative Writing program. It changed the way I thought about myself, about my creativity, and about the creative life in general. And one of the biggest lessons I learned in taking the class was this: creative individuals need to nurture their creative spirit by “refilling the creative well.”

    The Act of Creation is Tiring

    It is a common misconception among non-creatives and casual creatives that artists don’t “work” at what they do. From an outsider’s perspective, creation looks like play, and to some degree it is, but it is anything but casual play. It is active, and focused, and intentional, and draining.

    That last point is essential to understand. Tapping into your creative mind is tiring, though many of us don’t notice that we’re fatiguing until we’re lying face down like a stick of butter that’s been left out on the counter in August. Letting ourselves reach that point is damaging and dangerous and difficult to recover from, so how we avoid it?

    Try scheduling activities into your life that will nurture your creative spirit. Not use it, mind you. These are moments in which, as an artist, you receive rather than produce. Julie Cameron calls them “artist dates.” She advocates one per week. I agree, though I fall far from accomplishing that once-a-week schedule myself.

    An artist date is anything that lets you to take in and enjoy the external world. Go out to eat at a nice restaurant. Go for a walk in the woods. Visit the beach. See an art installation at a local museum. Attend a concert. These should be private moments when you can be alone. For me, that’s difficult because my beloved is a visual artist. We tend to bundle our artist dates, which is fine but not ideal. Doing anything with anyone else necessarily involves moments of compromise, small or large. Artist dates are supposed to be 100% about you, so my co-dates aren’t ideal, but they’re certainly better than nothing.

     

    Investing in Yourself as an Artist

    The purpose of giving yourself an Artist Date is to “refill your creative well.”

    NeuropathwaysWhether you’re a composer, a painter, a poet, or a novelist the act of creation uses energy. Literally. It also uses neurotransmitters. If you’re continually working on your art, you’re activating and reactivating the same neural networks in your brain again and again. The cells of those neural networks talk to each other via chemicals that are manufactured at night while you sleep. Over time, you can deplete your store of neurotransmitter by using them faster than you can make them.

    That’s the fatigue that sets it. The lethargy, the creative block, the depression, the doubt. You’ve been working so hard creating beautiful art that you’ve exhausted the parts of your brain involved in the process. Athletes know this as “overtraining.” They avoid it by building “off days” into their training programs. Creative folks would be wise to follow suit.

    I’m a writer, but I love the visual arts. Photographs, sculpture, painting. When I feel like my creative energies are waning, I hit up the Boston Museum of Fine Art or look for a local photography exhibit to attend. It gives me a chance to witness, take in, and be emotionally touched by what others have created without activating the pathways I use when I’m writing. Ideas enter from the outside world, not from the inside world. They get in there, bounce around in my subconscious, and mingle with my own ideas like colors swirling on the surface of a bubble.

    The creative well begins to fill once more. When I’m ready to sit back down and start producing again, all kinds of new and exciting things might emerge from having experienced the products of other artists’ creative acts.

     

    Art Festivals are Your Friend

    When is the last time you attended a local art festival? Summer is upon us, folks. It’s the high season for art associations to exhibit their members’ works.  I can’t recommend them enough as a place to go to be recharged and reinvigorated as a creative spirit.

    This past weekend, my beloved and I walked into downtown Salem and got to see some fabulous art at the Salem Artist Festival. We also listened to talented musicians perform and sparkling dancers dance. The square crackled with creative energy and positivity. I soaked it up like a sponge and found myself breathing deeper and smiling more widely on the walk home. Life was, is, good. My creative well is brimming. Check out the photos I took along the way, and if you’re local try to get down there this weekend and check it out.  You won’t be disappointed.

     

    When’s the last time you did anything to refill your creative well? What did you do? How did you feel afterward?

    Thanks for stopping by, and happy writing to you!

  • The Pros and Cons of Grammarly.com

    The Pros and Cons of Grammarly.com

    There are a gazillion writing apps and programs out there in the digital world, some that cost money and some that are free.  Of them all, I’ve tried a handful.  However, after two years in grad school, chasing the dream of getting an MFA in creative writing, I’ve come to rely heavily on one in particular: Grammarly. Just to be clear, I’m not affiliated with Grammarly.  I’m not getting paid to push the app.  It’s definitely not perfect, but I like it enough to write a post about it.

     

    What is Grammarly?

    Grammarly.com is an online writing program with a free version and a premium version.  The Chrome extension is free, or you can pay a monthly, quarterly, or yearly subscription fee to upgrade.  As you probably guessed, the cheapest per month price comes with the annual subscription and works out to about $12/month.

    I tried the free version when I was putting together my application materials for Lesley University’s Low Residency MFA in Creative Writing program.  Everything I wrote (cover letter, personal essay, and my creative piece) got fed through the program and analyzed.  The day I got the news that I’d been accepted into the program, I bought the yearly subscription because I knew I’d be using it often for the next two years.

     

    What Does Grammarly Do?

    Grammarly features

    In a nutshell, it makes your writing better.  It is, for all intents and purposes, an editing algorithm.  I’d even go so far as to say that it’s a pretty darned good one, too. 

    See that fancy infographic I screenshotted off their homepage up above?  Well, after two years of using the software I can say with confidences that it does all of that.

    You can either type directly in the program, or you can upload a file (google doc, word doc).  I tend to cut and paste in my material.

    Grammarly Improves Your Writing

     

    The above claim sounds a little hoaky.  I mean, if you write enough stuff, your writing skills are going to improve no matter what.  It’s inevitable.  That said, the detailed explanations that pop up when you hover over a flagged item is a mighty great feature.  I like not having to dive out to dictionaries and thesauruses and my copy of The Everyday Writer to check whether a word is appropriate or a grammatical construct is valid.  In that way, Grammarly will probably improve your skills faster than they otherwise would.

     

    Free Versus Premium:

    Grammarly free versus premium

    The free version of Grammarly is legitimately decent.  Heck, I used it to clean up my application materials (successfully).  I only upgraded from the free version to catch stuff I’m apparently blind to: spelling mistakes, homophone errors, repetitious used of certain crutch words, etc.  I can read through a written piece ten times, and the thing will still look like it was written at 3AM by a sleep-deprived college kid.

    For me, all the extra bells and whistles were worth the money.  On one of my earliest submissions in my grad school program, I was up against a deadline and in my stressed-out frame of mind, I forgot to run my submission through Grammarly.  I’d read it over multiple times, tweaking, correcting awkward sentence structure, finding typos, and punctuation errors, etc. 

    My professor sent the submission back to me.  She wouldn’t read a piece with more than two mistakes per page.  I was mortified.  Since then, I’ve never forgotten to use Grammarly to check my work before sending it out to anyone.

    Grammarly Pro FeaturesWhen you start a new document in Grammarly, you can select which features are or aren’t active.  You can also help the algorithm edit to your needs by telling it what type of document it’s analyzing.

    I’ve let the program run an analysis of a document in its “General (default)” setting, made note of the number of “critical” and “Advanced” issues, and then selected “Novel” format and let it re-analyze the document.  The number of “critical” issues rarely changes.  The number of “advanced” issues almost always decreases in novel format.  I guess that means the algorithm knows that creative writers play it a little fast and loose with grammar rules.

     

    Professional Proofreading Services

    Professional Proofreading Services

    Premium memberships give you access to a feature I have never used.  Supposedly, a real person will read your document and give you feedback on it.  I’m skeptical.  I don’t know who’s putting eyes on my stuff on the other end.  It could be someone with legit editing skills, or it could be someone for whom English is not their first language.  For all I know, it could be a well-trained monkey.  Maybe one day, I’ll submit a document for professional proofreading, just to see what happens.  I probably should. I’m paying for the feature, after all.

     

    Drawbacks and Downsides?

    Of course there are drawbacks and downsides. 

    First, it costs money.  That said, it rubs me the wrong way when folks gripe about having to pay for things they want.  As if they’re entitled to get everything they want in life for free.  Sorry, but someone took the time to write a pretty massive program and debug the thing.  They deserve to get paid for their work.  

    Second, it misses errors.  After two years of using the program, I’d estimate that Grammarly misses between 30% and 50% of all the errors that exist in a piece of writing.  For some folks, that’s a deal breaker.  Not for me.  Why?  Because the program gets me 50% to 70% of the way toward a mistake free document.  That saves me time, and my time is valuable.  Now, maybe utilizing that nifty professional proofreading feature would catch the rest of the errors.  I don’t know.  The point here is, expecting an algorithm to be perfect is dumb.  Especially considering the fact that most of us humans can’t match Grammarly’s imperfect error-catch rate.

    Third (and the biggest downside), Grammarly undoes certain formatting features in uploaded documents.  When you import a piece of writing into the program, all your special fonts, italics, and bold-faced type get converted to plain text.  When you export it back to Google Docs or MS Word or Scrivener or whatever, you’ll have to paw through the piece looking for the lost formatting and fix it. I find that step incredibly irritating.  Invariably, I’ll miss multiple words or sentences that need to be re-italicized.  Grrr.

    So yeah, Grammarly is far from perfect, but it’s still pretty darned great for anyone doing a lot of writing.  

    Do you use Grammarly?  What do you think of the program?
  • Write in the Morning to Maximize Productivity

    Write in the Morning to Maximize Productivity

    Every morning, I wake up, get the coffee beans ground, get the water heating, and then I sit down and write for an hour.  At the end of that session, I check my “session target” bar in Scrivener, and a satisfied warmth suffuses my brain.  I’ve discovered a couple of things about writing first thing in the morning. 1) It’s getting easier. 2) It seems to lead to more productive writing in the afternoon.

     

    Becoming a Morning Person

    Let Me SleepI don’t particularly enjoy getting up at 5 AM every day.  It’s a new habit I’m trying to cultivate as part of a synergistic new year resolution I made with my spouse.  Get up early, engage in some form of exercise for 20 or 30 minutes, then write for an hour.  That’s the goal, and so far I’ve succeeded with only a couple of slip-ups (one of which I fully blame on the Bombogenesis of 2018).  

    The actual getting up part of this is, slowly, getting easier for me due to some tremendous positive reinforcement (I’ll get to that later).  The exercise part of things… ummm, yeah. No.  I’m not.  I should.  But I’m not.  Do I feel bad about that?  Yep.  Am I going to build the working out part back into my morning routine?  One day, yes.  That day is not close, though.  

    Regarding physically getting up and getting my day going, though?  That’s getting easier. 

    The neuroscientists reading my blog (hey, they could be) are nodding their heads.  There’s plenty of science to back up what I’m experiencing: doing something over and over makes it easier to do.  Charles Duhigg wrote a book about it called The Power of Habit.  I haven’t read it, but I did read this NPR article: Habits: How They Form and How to Break Them that shilled for his book.  I’m glad I did because it made me realize that I’ve accidentally included something into my morning routine that’s pretty clutch when it comes to habit formation: CONCRETE AND IMMEDIATE REWARDS.

    In my earlier post, Writing is Like Baseball: You Gotta Swing for the Fences, I talked about the fact that I’m trying to write an entire first draft of a novel by April 9th.  Scrivener has allowed me to set a deadline date and a word count goal.  As I write, Scrivener calculates how many words I need to write every day to meet my deadline.  This, friends, is where I have accidentally been rewarding myself.

     

    Session Targets are My Friend

    Take a look at that picture over there on the left.Session Target Met  That green bar is pretty, isn’t it?  That was my session target bar at 4:23 PM yesterday afternoon.  Not too shabby.  I try to make sure that I’ve hit my daily word count goal before I head on home to my family after work because when I get home, writing gets really difficult.

    Anyway, I have always, always responded well to extrinsic feedback and rewards.  I’m terrible at doing things for myself, but I am great at doing them for someone (or something) else.  Scrivener is my external motivator.  I will write that session target into the green and love every minute of it. 

    If I’m slogging along in a scene and the words aren’t coming quickly and I feel tempted to just close up shop for the day and quit, I can open up that session target and get re-motivated to push for those last couple hundred words.  It works every single time.  I’m not saying the words are fabulous.  I’m just saying this feature  helps keep me writing when I might otherwise stop.

    In the mornings, I’ve been writing forward in my current novel project.  It’s only an hour, and this is right after I’ve gotten up, remember.  I’m not breaking any productivity records here.  But check it out: when 6:30 AM rolls around (I have a timer to make sure I don’t fall into the page and get lost), I open up my “Session Target” bar and have a little peek to see how I did.  

    Session Target at 6:30 AM
    The kids aren’t even up yet, and I’m halfway done!

    That sight, that glorious yellow bar reaching more than halfway across the screen, well it just makes me smile.  Seriously, I close up my computer and finish my 5:00 AM writing session feeling like a character from the LEGO Movie (everything is awesome!)  The kids aren’t even up yet, and I’m already halfway toward achieving my daily word count goal.

    If that isn’t a concrete and immediate reward, I don’t know what is.

     

    Write Earlier to Write More Later

    WriteSomething else happens when I knock off 300 to 400 words first thing.  In addition to flooding my brain with dopamine like some literary addict, I also prime my imaginative pump and set myself up for my afternoon writing session.

    All day long, I find myself thinking about my story and wanting to get back to it.  My morning session takes my project and moves it to the front burner of my mind.  Come afternoon, I’m more than ready to sit down and dive back in, and I think that those afternoon sessions are becoming more productive, too.  There’s probably some science to support that observation, but I don’t know what it is.  I could Google it, I suppose, but really, this post is eating up too much of my time already.  It’s 3:15 PM.  I’ve got an itch that needs scratching.  It’s time to knock out those remaining 332 words and fill that bar with glorious, goal-oriented green.

    This whole get-up-early-and-write thing seems to be working out for me so far.  

    Do you write in the mornings?  Have you always?  If not, would you ever give it a try?  

  • Writing is like Baseball: You Gotta Swing for the Fences!

    Writing is like Baseball: You Gotta Swing for the Fences!

    Sandlot MovieWriting is like baseball.  Most of the time, you recognize the pitch coming in and you manage a solid single when you swing at it. Occasionally, you strike out.  Every once in a great while, though, you hit a grand slam.  Or, if you’re new at it, like me, you dream about hitting a grand slam and when it’s your turn at bat, you give it everything you have and swing for the fences. 

    Between now and April 9th, I’m going to try to crank out an entire novel, start to finish.  It’s okay, coach told me to do it.

     

    Here’s the Pitch

    Lesley UniversityI just got back from my amazing, energizing, mad-capped Residency at Lesley University.  This was my fourth and (almost) final trip to geeky writer’s camp for grown-ups.  That means I have officially entered my fourth semester of a four-semester-long program.  This is it, folks.  Everything else was just practicing in the batting cages.  The lights are up, the bleachers are packed, it’s the bottom of the ninth inning and the bases are loaded.  I’m going to use a bunch of baseball metaphors in this post in case my Thesis Advisor, Chris Lynch, catches wind of this post and reads it.  You know him.  He wrote Inexcusable, Irreversible, Killing Time in Crystal City, Little Blue Lies, Gold Dust, and a bunch of other incredible award-winning novels.

    Anyway, residency is a mixture of seminars, panel discussions, and workshop sessions in which a bunch of us sit around and give critical feedback to each other on pieces we submitted at the beginning of December.  

    Manuscript Mark-upsThe workshop sessions are one of the highlights of residency for me.  I absolutely love reading other people’s writing, digging into it deeply, and then discussing it with other serious and passionate writers.  I also love receiving feedback on my stuff.  Even when folks point out more problems than positives in my work, I find the experience hopeful.  

    This time around was a slightly different workshop experience for me for a couple of reasons.

    First, I’m entering my “Thesis Semester.”  On May 7th, I must turn in between 100 and 120 pages of a “finished” piece of writing to someone who has never set eyes on it before–Jason Reynolds.  Ever heard of him?  Of course you have, you’re using the internet and you’re reading a blog about writing. 

    So, yeah.  No pressure, right?  Riiiiiiight.  [takes a moment to breathe into a paper bag] Okay, I’m good.  

    Most students entering the Thesis Semester have a working draft already completed, or at least a very solid chunk of it.  

    The second reason why it was a different experience was because Mr. Lynch pitched something at me I was not expecting.

     

    A Curve Ball

    Curve BallSix days before my residency workshop pieces were due (we need to write two pieces, each between 3,000 and 6,500 words long), I contacted Chris Lynch with a question.  It was via email, but this is how the conversation sounded in my imagination (I may have taken extreme liberties with the details).

     

     

    “Hi, Chris.”

    “Oh, hey, Kathy.  Great to hear from you.  I’ve heard so much about you from my colleagues.  Can’t wait to work with you!”   (He said none of that, by the way.) 

    “Thanks, Chris.  Same to you.  So… I’ve got two different books going right now.”

    “Okay.”

     “One’s a fun MG steam punk piratical fantasy adventure story.  I’m enjoying it, but it’s not quite your style, I think.”

    “Uh-huh.”

    “The other is a gritty YA post-apocalyptic wilderness survival story.  Totally up your alley, but it’s a hot mess at the moment.  Needs a ton of work.”

    “Right.”

    “Maybe I could submit some of one novel for my Large Group Workshop and some of the other novel for my Small Group Workshop, and then you could tell me which one you like better, and we could use that for my thesis.”

    “Hmmm… when are they due again?”

    “Six days from now.”

    “Yeah.  Okay, so, why don’t you make up a completely new story from scratch and submit that for both your workshop pieces.”

    [Eyes bulging with terror]  “Are you sure?”

    “Definitely.  That’s what I want you to do.  I’m your all powerful Thesis Advisor.  Do you really want to say no to me?”

    “Hahaha, no.  No, definitely not.  I mean, yes, that sounds great.  I will totally do that for you.  New story.  Six days.  Not a problem.  Thank you so much.”

    “You’re so welcome.  Glad you called.  Take care now.  Bye-bye.”  [click]

    Did I freak out after I got his email reply?  You bet your buttons I did.  I wrote a post about it, actually.  But then I did what he asked me to do and cranked out about 7,000 words of a brand-spanking new story.  I wrote that sucker so fast and in such a panic that I didn’t stop to question anything. Setting, characters, plot, dialogue, point-of-view, nothing!  I put my fingers on the keyboard, cleared my mind, and wrote Ouija-style!

     

    Swinging For the Fences!

    Turns out, the thing that fell out of my brain was… kind of cool.  It feels a little weird to write that, but there you have it.  Once I got over the shock of what I’d produced (a militant feminist world dominated by psychic women who are into all kinds of stuff our society has deemed taboo), I had to admit to myself that I kind of liked the story.  Okay, I fully liked it. 

    I think all my pent-up rage from the past two years of… I’m not going to that dark place…came bubbling to the surface when Chris was all, like, “write me brand new stuff NOW!”  My beloved called it my “man-hating” story.  Chris called it a “black-widow feminist” piece.  I’m calling it The 42nd Queen.  Eh, it’s a working title.

    Chris also told me I should make it my thesis project.  In all fairness, he didn’t order me to do it.  He’s not a monster, for Thor’s sake.  I might even go so far as to say he’s a pretty awesome, inspiring, and kind guy.  And, if I’m honest, what I wrote at his request (though I cursed him as I wrote it) is one of the first things I’ve written in a long time that gave me the feels as I was writing it.  That means something, I think.

    So, yeah.  I’m going to make it my thesis project.  Fourth semester shall not be my revision semester.  It shall be my militant feminist, Ouija-style writing semester.  

    And if I’m going to take a swing at this, I’m going to swing for the fences. 

    120 page?  Pshaw!  Too easy.  

    Let’s try for a grand slam.  An entire draft of a novel.  In 82 days. 

    Babe Ruth
    If I’m going to take a crack at this, I’m going to swing for the fences, Babe.

    I mapped it out and it’s definitely possible.  Assuming (perhaps naïvely) that I write 810 words every single day between now and then, I can hit 75,000 words (about 350 pages) by April 9th.  There’s no guarantee they’ll be good words, but that’s beside the point. 

    The pitch has been thrown.  It’s a curve ball breaking to the inside corner, and I’ve got a bead on it.  The bat’s beginning to come around.  My hips are cocked.  Body weight shifting off the back leg.  Here it comes.  

    Think I can do it? 

  • IWSG January Post – Making the Writing Happen

    The Insecure Writer's Support GroupThis month’s IWSG post asks the question:

    What steps have you taken to put a schedule in place for your writing and publishing?

    How apropos.

    Before I continue, I must give a shout out to this month’s most excellent hosts: Tyrean Martinson, The Cynical Sailor, Megan Morgan, Rachna Chhabria, and Jennifer Lane.  Thank you all for hosting this month’s IWSG blog hop.  

    2018 is right around the corner, and in my household, it is a big deal. I and my beloved don’t usually enjoy marching to the beat of a predictable, trite, or clichéd drum, and the whole tradition of making new year resolutions certainly fits that description. That said, new year resolutions are, in fact, something we do, and we get jazzed about it, too.

    Positive Thinking I’m all about the power of positive thinking and positive visualization. Think forward, not backward, I say. What do I want my future to look like, I ask, and then I act to manifest that future. The first step in that process happens in my own mind.

    The act of ticking over a new year on the first of January is, as I well know, an imaginary contrivance of human perception. Not to mention, it’s dependent upon which calendar you follow. Sumerian? Aztec? Norse? Celtic? Nubian? Heck, I could invent my very own calendar system and start the year on November 12th. Why not?

    Okay, so the start of a new year is a fictitious concept, but it’s one that I enjoy celebrating, almost worshiping. It provides me with a stimulus, a prompt, a chance to pause and contemplate my accomplishments (and failures) of the past spin around Solaris, and look forward to imagine what the next spin might be like.

    What am I proud of doing? What are my regrets? How can I transform those regrets into positives moving forward? What challenges can I throw at myself that will test me and improve me either physically, intellectually, or spiritually? That’s what celebrating the new year and making resolutions is all about in my house.

    It’s serendipitous that this month’s IWSG prompt deals with finding ways to fit writing into my life because it’s already one of my resolutions for the new year.

    2017 was an unacceptably sedentary year for me in which I got a lot of writing done, but not enough and it always felt shoved in last minute. Most of my writing happened in the late afternoons, at the end of a long day of teaching, or worse, after dinner when all I wanted to do was go to bed.  It always felt forced.  I was Sisyphus, standing at the bottom of the hill, hands against the boulder.  Not good.

    Here’s my plan for 2018:

    1. Wake up at 5 am every day except Sunday, so that I have time to:
    2. Work out for 20 to 30 minutes with my beloved, then:
    3. Write for one hour.

     

    KettlebellsNotebook with black cursive writing sits atop an open laptop

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    That’s right, the big new year’s resolution for me is to become–wait for it–a morning person! My writing time will become part of an established routine. I’m not stipulating what I’ll be writing. It could be rough drafts, editing work, blogging, journaling, anything as long as it is writing.

    The great thing about my plan is that I’m not alone in it. My beloved and I are engaging in this resolution together. We’re going to support each other, motivate each other, hold each other accountable. In other words, misery loves company, and I’m going to have some. Technically I already do, because I wrote this post on December 27th, but it won’t go up until January 3rd. By the time you read this, I’ll have three early mornings under my belt. Feel free to ask me how it’s going a month from now; most failed resolutions die in the third week of implementation. (Not me, not me, not me, not me <– see that? Positive thinking, baby!)

    2018, here I come! If all goes as I’m visualizing it, 2019 will see me healthier and much, much farther along in my writing career.

    If you’ve got a plan for getting more writing time worked into your schedule, or if you’ve already successfully done it, I’d love to hear about it in the comments!

    Happy 2018, everyone, and happy writing.

  • Good News, Bad News, and Trouble in Writing Town

    Good News, Bad News, and Trouble in Writing Town

    I’ve got a thirty-minute break before my next parent-teacher conference, so I thought I’d use this time to do some writing. I know I won’t be able to get any meaningful creative writing done, sandwiched as this moment is between long and stressful blocks of trying to calm down nervous parents and stressed-out students. My stress levels are elevated today, too. Not a great place to be, mentally, when you want the ideas to flow. The doors of my imagination just can’t swing freely on their hinges at the moment. 

    Since I’m currently stress-blocked and don’t feel up to generating anything creative right now, I figured I’d use this time to sneak in a blog post and try to unpack a problem that has been dogging me of late.

    Creative Constipation

    Writer's BlockOver the past week, forward progress on my WIP has slowed to a snail’s pace. I need to figure out what’s going on. What has changed? What can I do to unblock myself?  

    You know how everyone always says stuff like, “You can’t edit a blank page,” or “The first draft is supposed to be terrible?” Of course, you do, if you’re a writer. It’s inescapable, especially during the month of NaNoWriMo. I firmly buy into those clichéd tidbits of advice. If I had more time (hahaha) I’d needlepoint it onto a cushion and then sit on that cushion as I wrote.

    However, something happened on the 15th that seems to have changed things and not for the better. We (being the folks in Lesley University’s MFA in Creative Writing Program) received our mentor pairings for next semester. Fourth semester students (like me) work on one thing and one thing only: our creative theses. Or, in layman’s terms, we’ll be trying to shine up a reasonable draft of a book. Up until last week, I was feeling pretty good about that. Looking forward to it, in fact.

    Good News, Bad News

    Then, we got our pairings. Good news: I got my first choice for a mentor. The esteemed Chris Lynch, author of Inexcusable, Little Blue Lies, and Angry Young Man, and others. I also got my first pick for my Thesis Reader: Jason Reynolds, author of Patina, When I Was the Greatest, and All American Boys among other books. To invoke Chandler Bing, “Could I be more excited?” Maybe, but it would be difficult.

    Chandler Bing Gif

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Anyway, I got that news and fist-pumped the sky, did a dance of joy, and then froze. Oh, sugar-honey-iced-tea. Chris Lynch and Jason Reynolds are going to see my story.  Turns out the good news is also the bad news.

    Grocery Bag FailureHere’s what that sudden, stark realization felt like. Imagine you’re at the grocery store, heading back to your car carrying two extremely heavy and overpacked bags of foodstuffs, and you’re feeling stoked because you hit some sweet sales and managed to stock up for the week and then some. You’re crossing a busy throughway in the parking lot when the bags let go. All at once, the bottoms rip wide open and vomit your stuff all over the pavement. Cans are rolling everywhere. The milk carton is ruptured.  A white puddle expands at your feet. Dented boxes, broken eggs, bruised apples racing away, and cars coming at you from both directions.  What you thought of just moments ago as an awesome bundle of tasty treats now looks like an embarrassing heap of trash. 

    My “book” now feels like those groceries lying broken and hopeless and ugly on the pavement, and Mr. Lynch and Mr. Reynolds are the drivers who have to stop and get out of their slick cars to help me to scrape all my crap up off the ground.  They know how to bag groceries.  This would never happen to them.  I’m a schmuck, and now they have to deal with my foolishness.

    Perception versus Reality

    I’m not saying that’s my actual situation. Maybe my “book” isn’t as big a mess as all that, but that’s how it feels right now.

    I’ve got this thing, this rough draft, and it’s terrible in all the ways that I usually tell myself a first draft is allowed to be. But…

    Two authors whom I respect (and, okay yes, idolize) are about to put eyes on it. All of a sudden it no longer feels okay for my rough draft to be messy. I want to turn my work-to-date over to Chris, have him read it, and then get an email from him expounding upon how wonderful it is and how excited he is to help me cut and polish this diamond of a story.

    I want that, but I don’t have a rough diamond to give him. I’ve got a pile of ruined groceries hastily scraped up off the blacktop, possibly destined for the garbage. And he’s going to judge me!

    He’s not going to judge me.

    The man is amazing. So is Jason, who will read my “finished” product at the end of this semester and either give it the thumbs up (I pass) or thumbs down (I still pass, but let it be known that I am a talentless hack). Every student who has worked with these two men has sung their praises.

    The point is, I no longer feel okay with my rough draft being terrible. In my desire to impress two incredible authors, I’d want it to be perfect, spotless, shiny. Glittering to the point of blinding in its utter fabulousness. Is that too much to ask?

    We’re Our Own Worst Critics

    Tom Hanks WriterYes, as it turns out. Perfection is too much to ask, and my self-imposed, unattainable new expectations have bogged down my writing process. My muse has curled up in the fetal position at my feet beneath my desk. She’s utterly useless under pressure, I guess. Meanwhile, I am getting hung up on every single sentence I try to write. Is this description strong enough? Are these verbs punchy enough? Am I rambling? Should I cut this? Do I need to elaborate here?  Why’s there so much dialogue in this scene?  What the H am I doing?

    That’s me, snail-crawling along, doubting EVERYTHING about my writing and my characters and my story.  Whereas I normally can pump out a solid 1,500 to 2,000 words a day, I’m now down to less than 500. 

    Which I guess would be okay if it weren’t for the fact that I’m supposed to turn in 13,000 words of new material on December 1st in preparation for my January residency. I’ve only got 6,200 words so far, and that has taken me almost two weeks to generate. And it’s all rough draft quality work.

    Sigh.

    This really should be an IWSG post, because I am feeling more insecure about my writing than I have probably ever felt before in my entire life. It’s cool. It’ll pass. I’ve doubted myself before this, and I always get over it…

    Eventually.

    Until then, I’ll continue to plug along and hope that, with the help of an incredibly talented (and patient–dear Freya, please let them be patient) mentor and reader, some of my groceries will turn out to be salvageable.  Because what else can to do?  It’s part of being an aspiring writer, right?  I either quit now, or I push through the doubt and continue to dribble the words onto the paper.  

    Okey-dokey.  Break time’s over.  Back to the day job.

    Has anyone else had nearly paralyzing moments of doubt brought on by the prospect of having a legitimately talented author/agent/editor reading your stuff?  Please, tell me I’m not the only one.

  • Life! Will You Just Chill Out Already?

    Writer's BlockAaaaaaaaaarrrgh!  Life, my good man, please!  Will you just chill out already?  I mean, criminiddly, I am trying to be a writer over here!

    In all seriousness, though, I have not be getting words onto the paper of late, and it is starting to make me feel a little crazy.  There has been a whole lot of family stuff going on over the last couple of weeks.  Kid stuff.  Supporting my creative spouse stuff. Parent stuff.  Pile onto that all the scads of “extras” that my teaching gig has been throwing at me.  Then, just to see what my max lift in life is, cue my third submission deadline on October 2nd (which I only partially met).

    It was legitimately too much.  I felt like the kid who stuffed one too many peeps into her mouth and was realizing that the gooey wad of yellow sweet stuff was blocking her airway. (By the way, I’ve never actually done the peep challenge.  I’m not that dumb.  I did the chubby bunny challenge.)  So I asked for an extension on my craft essay, and my amazing mentor gave me an extra week.  Phew!  What a relief.

    Boy tries to pop a bubble
    That’s the bubble. Bursting.

    And then I looked at my calendar for that week and saw evening obligations for my teaching gig that were going to keep me on campus late into the evening for four of the five weekdays.  And school play and scouting stuff for my kids.  And PTO meetings (which I skipped).  And my writer’s group meeting (which I also skipped and felt super crappy about).  And non-negotiable visit to my MIL’s house.  And a scout-sponsored camping trip this past weekend. 

    Yep.  That week-long extension gave me just one additional functional writing day.

    But I got the draft done and got it turned in on time.  That did feel good.  A weight lifted from my mind, and I thought, “All right!  Now to get back to the fun stuff!  Back to my story.  Back to writing!”

    And then I took a look at my calendar for this week.  Science team meet on Tuesday eats up that evening. College Rec letters are due on Friday.  I have 52 trimester one indicator grades and comments due on Monday.  One of my kids has an imminent birthday coming up that we really should do something about, since, you know… parenting and stuff?

    *sigh*

    *glances wistfully at the Scrivener icon sitting neglected in a corner of the desktop.*

    I’m sure I’ll get back to you one day, WIP.

  • The NaNoWriMo Debate: Are You “For” or “Against” It?

    The NaNoWriMo Debate: Are You “For” or “Against” It?

     

    The Debate Rages On: Is NaNoWriMo a good thing or not? 

    Emotions run high when this question is asked.  Poster for National Novel Writing MonthI mean, folks get seriously heated.  Fans of NaNoWriMo start heating the tar and gathering the feathers whenever someone suggests that maybe NaNoWriMo isn’t the best thing ever.  Critics of NaNoWriMo sharpen their pen nibs in preparation to eviscerate the works produced by anyone during the event.  It’s a little crazy, to be honest.

    NaNoWriMo Explained

    Okay, let’s pause for a moment.  If you don’t know what NaNoWriMo is, let me explain.  No, there’s too much.  Let me sum up.  The acronym (which I’m too lazy to type yet again because of the annoy placement of capital letters) stands for National Novel Writing Month.  Folks can go to the website, create an account, announce a novel project, and then attempt to write 50,000 words of material in a single month.  That averages out to 1,667 words a day.  I won’t bore you with the history of how this international phenomenon got started.  For that story, click here.

    For or Against?

    I am FOR!

    With some qualifications.

    Poster advertising National Novel Writing MonthI agree with many others that NaNoWriMo is not a good fit for everyone.  Justin Brouckaert articulated my feelings pretty well in his guest post on the Submittable blog titled A Case Against NaNoWriMo.  Despite what the declarative title suggests, Justin is not vehemently anti-NaNo.  He just wrote a horrible piece of trash (I’m paraphrasing him) in NaNo and thought he was going to go nuts from the pressure.   

    Different people have different writing processes. 

    Some folks absolutely adore extrinsic motivators, which is pretty much exactly what NaNo is.  Other folks fold like a wet napkin in a high wind at the first sign of pressure. 

    Some writers thrive on establishing a rock-solid daily writing habit.  I like to write every day, no matter what.  (Not that I always get to do things the way I want to.  See my earlier post about my kids for more details on that front.)  Other people tend to write best when they produce work in a more accordion style, with long stretches of empty pages followed by rapid bursts of prolific words.

    Some folks are communal writers.  They love talking shop with other writers, joining up at coffee shops or in library meeting rooms to sit and write together, posting updates on all the social media platforms.  Hooray for the global connectedness that is the internet!  Other writers, though, are solitary people (when they’re creating, at least) and find the whole social, communal aspect of NaNoWriMo repellant.

    NaNoWriMo Participant Badge

    My Own Experience With NaNoWriMo

    All I can say is this: for me, there are more positives than negatives in participating. 

    For starters, participating in my very first NaNoWriMo taught me that I have the capacity for self-discipline needed to write an entire novel. 

    Also, the stamina.  I mean, people!  Writing a novel is like running a marathon.  That might be too gentle an analogy.  It’s like taking part in an Ironman competition.  I went into that first NaNoWriMo all, “Yeah!  I’m going to write a whole novel in just one month!”  Well, that’s not what happened.  I did “win” the event by writing 50,000 words in the month of November, but I was startled to discover that my book was far from finished.  I continued writing (every day, thanks to the habit I’d cultivated during November) and proudly finished up my book in March of that year.  It topped off at just over 96,000 words.  

    It was a disgusting beast of a first draft.  In fact, I’d go so far as to say it was a horrible piece of trash.  But it existed.  I’d done it.  I’d written a full draft of a novel.  If nothing else, I now knew that I had the sheer stamina necessary to write a book.  I tucked that draft away in the bottom drawer of my writing desk, where I shall probably keep it until my dying day.

    See, I think of NaNoWriMo not as a chance to pen a masterpiece, but as an opportunity to simply practice the art of writing.  It inspires me.  It excites me.  Heck, it bolstered my confidence enough join the North Shore Writer’s Group to apply to the MFA in Creative Writing program at Lesley University.  NaNoWriMo exposed me to new people and new ways of thinking and new opportunities.

    So, yes, I think NaNoWriMo is a positive force for creativity, despite what some might say.

    What do you think about NaNoWriMo?  Have you participated?  Will you again?  Why or why not?

     

  • I Teach, I Write, I Parent, I Busy!

    Hermione Granger Time Turner
    Excuse me, Miss Granger? Could I borrow that time turner for a moment?

    Yeah, Yeah, I know.  We’re all busy.  We all wear a lot of different hats in life. I teach, I write, and I parent.  It doesn’t always happen in that particular order.  Priorities shift daily.  Time bleeds out of my as if I’ve severed some existential artery.  Last night, I fell into bed at 9:00pm like a corpse.  This morning I woke feeling not much livelier than an awkwardly reanimated corpse.  Why in the name of Odin am I so tired?!

    That was the question I had on my brain when I sat down to do my morning pages.  [side note: I’m back at Julie Cameron’s self-guided course The Artist’s Way.  Journaling daily in the mornings is part of the program]  

    …anyway, I just could not understand the level of fatigue plaguing me this morning after getting an amazing eight full hours of sound sleep last night.  Is my thyroid slowing down? Am I developing a vitamin D deficiency (again)? Could low-grade depression triggered by the start of a new school year be the culprit?  What?  What am I missing?

    So, I recapped this past week, I wrote everything out on paper.  Once I saw it all, I was flabbergasted but had my answer.  I am busy!  Like, Hermione Granger with her time turner level busy. 

    Between lesson planning forward a few weeks (necessary to keep me from completely losing my mind) for three different high school science courses, scoring varsity volleyball games, prepping way too many solutions for a diffusion and osmosis lab, doing one-on-one check-in’s and phone calls with my new advisees and their parents, attending my bi-monthly meeting for the North Shore Writer’s Group, getting my eldest to Scouts, and meeting my Friday submission deadline for the Widgets & Wizards novel-writing class I’m taking as part of my graduate studies, I was in near constant motion.  And, like a complete goober, I decided to start lightly restricting the ridiculous volumes of food I was shoving into my face so I might stand a chance of losing a bit of the weight I put on during my first year of grad school (you know, so I can fit back into my work clothes and not look obscene).  

    The start of a new school year always knocks me down for a few days.  It’s the sudden shift in mental alertness that does it.  This year, though, this year I feel like I’ve got a brutal case of jet lag mixed with seasonal allergies and a touch of the flu.  And the load doesn’t look like it’s going to be lightening up any time soon.  This coming week is even busier than last week was. Tonight it’s a PTO meeting. Tomorrow I’ll be back at the volleyball scoring table, and Thursday night I’ll be leaving the house at 7:00am and returning home from my teaching day at 9:00 pm thanks to it being “Parent’s Visiting Night.” 

    If I’m going to make my next submission deadline, I’m going to have to be on my organizational A-game.  Part of that means MAKING TIME TO WRITE!  Parenting might have to take a back seat to the teaching and writing this week.  Thank Thor I’ve got a loving and supportive spouse who, because they’re a creative individual who went back to school to study their specific creative medium, understands and supports me and is willing to step in and pick up the slack when necessary.  And this week it will be very, very necessary.

    Last night, I added another 800+ words to my WIP.  Today, I need to match that or do even better.  I got a very encouraging note from my mentor this morning saying I’d nailed my MC’s voice in my last submission, so I’m feeling optimistic that I’m on the right track.

    As for writing, [deep breath, cracks knuckles, swigs coffee], here we go.  

     

    What times in your year do things tend to pile up on you?

  • Life: It Happens to the Best of Us

    It’s been my experience that a creative person’s goals–fragile, beautiful little things that they are–frequently crash headlong into the mercurial realities of life.

    This morning, as I sit at my kitchen table to do my morning pages, I can’t help but catch sight of the wall calendar opposite me and notice that August 28th is a mere sixteen days away. Time appears to have sprung a leak this summer. Just a moment ago, it was June 16th, and I was attending the end-of-year faculty party.

    Ah, summer vacation. The kids would be in camp all day. Hubby would be hard at work with his stuff down in his studio. I’d have two

    Monhegan Island, Maine
    A visual representation of my mental image of summer in all its leisurely, creativity-inspiring glory.

    months crank out as much work for my graduate studies as possible. Heck, I might be able to knock off every third-semester assignment before the end of August when I had to return to my full-time job of teaching science to high-schoolers. The future looked bright.

    Now, I have less than three weeks before I’m back in the classroom and my creative endeavors become relegated to a dimly lit, neglected corner of existence. What the heck?!

    Scottish poet Robert Burns wrote in 1785, “The best laid schemes of Mice and Men go oft awry.” Isn’t that the truth?

    Now, sitting here, faced with irrefutable evidence that yet another blissful summer of writing has snuck by me, shielded by the dust kicked up by the mocking chaos of reality, a couple of thoughts spring to mind.

    First, I spend perhaps a bit too much time cursing J. K. Rowling for thinking up that damnable Time Turner from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Why, J. K.? Why did you have to tease me with that thing? I’ve never been good at math, but even if I were a genius with numbers I still wouldn’t be able to count all the times I’ve wished for things that don’t exist: the ability to fly, a non-evil and therefore helpful clone, a sable-coated prehensile tail… and now, I can add a time turner to that list. Garr!!

    Additionally, I find myself thinking yet again of the first episode from the 1980’s reboot of the Twilight Zone. In “A Little Piece and Quiet” (directed by Wes Craven), a housewife with way too much stuff in her life and no time for herself digs up a necklace/amulet in her flower bed that gives her the power to stop time completely. It’s fantastic until nuclear war breaks out, and then it’s not fantastic anymore.

    There she is, realizing that her fabulous discovery has just ruined her life.

    Hey, it’s the Twilight Zone. Nothing ever ends well in the Twilight Zone. That’s what I loved about it and still do. The thing is, I first saw that episode as a rerun when I was fifteen or sixteen. That was… a very long time ago, yet it’s still with me. A magical necklace that can stop time! Not unlike that half-alien chick from the TV show of the same era, “Out of This World” (which, in stark contrast to the Twilight Zone, was terrible) who could stop time by touching her fingers together. The time-stopping amulet was way better because of its mysterious and potentially sinister origins.

    Anyway, I think about Hermione’s time turner and that doomed housewife’s time-stopping amulet all the time. If only…

    Well, I’ve finished nursing my cup of coffee. The tea kettle just whistled to let me know the water’s hot and ready for my post-coffee cup of Constant Comment. The kids are awake and ravenously ready for breakfast. And the home-repair project that ate up my entire day yesterday sits waiting to be finished. If I’m to be honest with myself, this day is probably already spent, and I shouldn’t get my hopes up regarding being able to sneak in any creative writing. That said, you never know what might happen. I could be picking roofing nails out of the lawn and stumble across the uncovered corner of an ancient rune-encrusted box containing a mysterious golden amulet. Hey, a girl can dream, can’t she.

    What do you dream about in the harried moments when life devours your creative goals and spits out their shattered little bones at your feet?